Music....or Movie?

Dear World,

It's 2 am and I'm still up. It's not because I'm not tired. I'm very tired. I just hate going to bed. I guess that may sound strange to some people but I really do hate going to bed. The part I hate is being alone. I love being around people. I love being intimiate. Now we aren't talking about sex here. I just love being close to someone. But there is no one there. It's so bad that not only do I stay up way too late on the computer but when I do finally decide to sleep, I have to start a movie or boring audiobook because it gives me the feeling that people are interacting. I need that all the time so even during daylight hours when I'm home alone, I do the same thing. I love music. All kinds. But it isn't the same. Music is so one-sided. Someone sings or plays an instrument and you listen. It's soothing and beautiful and I love it, but many times it isn't what I need. I need to hear people talking to each other, carrying on conversations. Audiobooks work because the reader changes his/her voice for each character. It makes the conversations more real and life-like, the way the author intended. It helps me not feel so alone. It's funny that there is such a difference between music and the talking in movies, tv, and audiobooks. The talking gives the illusion of human contact. It works wonders on lonely people. And now I'm going to go to bed and let Fivel the mouse give me the illusion that I am not alone.

The Cat

Last year one of my beautiful white sister cats had a litter of kittens. Of the 5, 2 survived. One was white exactly like her mom and auntie- a female I named Dixie. Then there was a black and white male that I named Mason. Yeah, Mason Dixie. I know. Cheesy. Well, eventually Dixie found a new home with one of Kevin's friends and was renamed Snowball. Then Kevin told me he found a home for Mason, too. Great! His girlfriend wants him. However, her parents won't let her have him and she's only 14 so she has to stay with me for 4 years! I don't know when her birthday is so maybe we're down to 3 years by now. She comes over very occassionally and gets excited about seeing him, carries him around and asks to take him outside. I don't doubt she'd take good care of him. But most of us know that when we first start out, we rent from pet-hating landlords for years before we are able to buy a place of our own, if we ever do. Few are the apartment buildings and rental houses that don't say, "No pets." So Mason could be with me for a good long time. That really isn't the issue anymore. I've been thinking about what it would be like to give him up after all that time. While this girl is staking her claim, I'm feeding him, buying his litter, I even had him neutered today and didn't ask permission. Of course, it's a requirement of being a responsible pet owner but it's also because I still have Mason's mom and aunt who as not altered and I was not about to deal with inbred kittens. Mason was also born here. He knows no other human caretaker but me. And he sleeps in my bed most nights. He'll be a year old this summer and I'm getting pretty attached to this baby. You'd think I would feel that way when I am well aware that having 4 cats in the house is too many. I have told Kevin that when he leaves my house, Kenny goes with him no matter what. I've been telling him lately that he has to take both Kenny and Mason since Mason is Kevin's girlfriend's cat. That would leave me with only my white sisters, Tellulah and Dora. That is a good number- just two. And yet, I'm just not sure I will be able to let Mason go. I should. But there is that whole fantasy about having a kitten that was born in your house and then 15-20 years later, dying in your house. I guess we'll see what happens when the time comes, right?

Welcome to my blog!

I don't know where this blog will take us. I'm just going to go with my unusual thinking and that could take us anywhere! Enjoy the ride! I can't sew. At all. Really. I doubt I could sew a button on. There are a great many craft projects I'd love to do but if they involved even minimal sewing, I have to pass them over. But then, I may be able to get someone else to do the sewing part and I could do the rest. Surgeons can sew. They can sew as well as the best quilters, I think. They even have different types of stitching, just like those who sew fabric. The only difference, really, is the material. Surgeons sew organs and muscle while the rest of the sewing population sews fabric and other nonliving material. And surgeons go to school for a good many years and practice under the more advanced and experienced for several additional years while sewing with fabric and those things are taught to children who simply get better as they practice and gain experience. These things occured to me when I was watching Grey's Anatomy when the surgeons were doing a surgery of some kind (of course) and Intern Stevens was shocked by the type of stitch that Intern Yang was doing. In the next episode it became clear that a surgeon cannot necessarily sew material. He's used to living breathing flesh so when the chief had to sew a button on his shirt, he was totally thrown off. Derek Shepherd did it for him. Dr. Shepherd proved to be a bit more versatile than the cheif. That could be because the chief's wife (who had just thrown him out, which explains why he was having to try to sew the button in the first place) was a homemaker. She was the sew-er, mender, of clothes, blankets, etc while he sewed human flesh and organs. Shepherd, on the other hand, was married to and divorcing a gyn/ob doctor/surgeon. Shepherd had to do his own mending. I'm not saying that anyone who sews can do surgery. I'm just saying that it does take sewing skills to be a surgeon. I can be neither and am greatful to those that can.